Styrofoam

rubbing together,

squeak to squawk to squeal,

it rends its bloody talons

down the chalkboard

then turns to me,

looming, eyes glittering yellow.

this static monster

made up of blacks and whites and greys,

claws raking down my skin

seeping into my ears, head, mind,

bleeding me blue.

my mind is splitting

lodging in my throat,

my heart,

the edges of my eyes.

then it stops.

they put the styrofoam away

and the beast is sealed away in its cave again.

Brown Neck Bottled Malt

​My brother tells me

“Don’t think about it too much.”

And yet I can only sit

Thinking about it again

And again

And again.

Thinking about how the words won’t flow,

Spill over the glass of my mouth

Onto the page,

Soaking in my heart along the way.

When I can feel my thoughts as my words,

As they flow down my agate skin onto my pen,

Some go unnoticed

In the desolate maelstrom of my mind,

Dismissed

Forgotten and lost to the empty void.

Yet it is this same void that inspires me,

Regurgitating the words I used to say aloud,

The words that slid down my glass neck,

Bitter as those that spoke them.

You stand proud with

With your unbreakable barrier,

Not sealed but

Empty

And I, a

Bottled up brown neck

So full yet I can only barely

Stretch open my throat to give you these words.

I’m sorry

That you don’t understand me.

Don’t understand the pain I’m in,

The pressure that builds up from never speaking;

Glass cracking

But never breaking

Because I won’t let it.

Won’t let out the torrent of words

Even once.

Letting out a drop will open the rest

And I don’t know

If I’m strong enough to pull it back in.

So I’ll sit,

A bottled up brown neck

Sealed tight at the lips

Tapping on the lid

To keep out the bubbles

That threaten to break me.

Dance (For Me)

​I could hear your heart,

Racing alongside mine

But racing toward another.

All I wanted

Was to see your eyes light up on mine

To see you remember that time as a I did.

But I’m rhyming now

And that won’t do

So

No more swaying

No more chill

I’ll beat the drums with my feet

Let the guitar play in my blood

Rend the silence

With the crescendo of my voice

Dancing alone

Letting you go

No easy love,

No taking it slow

I’ll burn the records

Drown the CDs

Dance all night

Finally alone.

Savoring

As I lie here typing, I savor the final hours before I decide whether or not I need to move out of the country.

I’m very much perplexed by how America has turned from a “vote for the best candidate” Democracy to a “vote for the person least like the one I hate, and, oh, btw, they have to be in one of these two political parties” Democracy.

I was inspired to write this when a friend of mine answered one of my comments to her post supporting Trump like this:

screenshot-18

I’m sorry, what? Why?

Voting for president is supposed to be a step taken towards progress. After four years of watching the country decline and begin to turn on itself, I was hoping that the new president would be someone who I could take seriously and who would take all the issues seriously. Instead, we have Mrs. Clinton who looks down on all others and looks out for numero uno, and Mr. Trump who might have good intentions, but his pride disable him from taking the right action. I mean, come on people! The WikiLeaks of Clinton’s emails should be enough to discourage anyone from voting for her. And Trump’s supporters’ Purge-like mindset sometimes worries me more than he does, never mind the fact that he can’t seem to remember the fact that all he says is recorded so people notice when he changes his stances around. The man has hidden intentions! Also, does no one else know that there is a petition to keep him out of the UN? I’d sign it in a heart-beat because I feel like he could start an unnecessary war with anyone by opening his big, tactless mouth.

Let’s not even get into the fact that Trump actually supported Clinton before all this: “Donald Trump jumped into the crowded and rowdy Republican presidential field on Tuesday, but the business magnate has astutely played both sides of the aisle for years, and has been especially cozy — financially and personally — with Hillary Clinton.

Clinton, the Democratic front-runner and former New York senator who had some say over policy that could have impacted Trump’s vast business dealings, received donations from both him and son Donald Trump Jr. on separate occasions in 2002, 2005, 2006 and 2007, according to state and federal disclosure records.” (Politico)

I know Hillary, and I think she’d make a great President.” – Donald Trump, 2008 (Huffington Post)”

Furthermore, neither seem to be too concerned about issues that need to be addressed now: the Keystone XL Pipeline for one. I’ve seen countless videos on Facebook about it over the weeks and my heart goes out to all the Native Americans fighting for what is rightfully theirs. The comments I found from the two candidates concerning this issue date back to 2012/2013 (Trump) and September of last year (Clinton). And according to Grist, Clinton has been avoiding the issue for years: “When asked about her views on Keystone at a New Hampshire event earlier this month, she said, “If it is undecided when I become president, I will answer your question.” So there.” However, she apparently took a stand a month after that (September 2015) saying she was against it. Trump was obviously for it, back in January 2012: “Trump called President Barack Obama‘s rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline “disgraceful.” Trump added, “Frankly, we don’t need Canada. We should just be able to drill our own oil. As long as it’s there we certainly should have approved it. It was jobs and cheaper oil.”” However, what does he think now?

Honestly, watching these two’s debates is like watching two spoiled four-year-olds go at it. Why have we put ourselves through over a year of this hubris-fueled malarkey?

The real question: why is everyone so adverse to voting third-party?!

In an attempt to answer my own question, I asked Google. While one source I found encouraged third-party voters to vote for Clinton (“I support third parties and have voted for a few. But this is not the election to cast a presidential vote that way… A swing of even 1-2 percent of third party voters to Trump or Clinton may decide the election.“Huffinton Post) another (Free Press) encouraged third-party voters to stand by their beliefs, saying that when you take the defensive vote and choose the lesser of two evils, you are making yourself a “political prostitute.”

The lesser of two evils is still evil. Furthermore, we don’t know which of these two is really less evil. I’m a Christian, so I’m usually automatically with anyone who is Pro-Life, given that their other principles are similar to mine. Usually that person is a Republican. But please don’t misunderstand. I don’t associate with any particular party. Each candidate associates with a party, but they are not that party. Exhibit A: Trump. The Republican politicians do not fully support him. They probably think he’s mad. They’re probably not wrong.

Unfortunately, I’m too young to cast a vote. Just as unfortunate, it’s the few hours of voting, so maybe this whole spiel is lost on all of you. But I think this is will help someone out there make an informed, independent decision.

Lesson Learned

I learned something very important today.

You’re not weak of you fall…

but you’re kind of stupid if you stay down after you fall, crying on the wet, dirty ground and refusing to get up. 😐😑😕