Tribute to Left Eye ღ

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Left Eye was my musical inspiration. I didn’t try to copy her style, but her tough as nails, “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” style made me rethink my inspirations for my music, writing, and poetry.

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Savoring

As I lie here typing, I savor the final hours before I decide whether or not I need to move out of the country.

I’m very much perplexed by how America has turned from a “vote for the best candidate” Democracy to a “vote for the person least like the one I hate, and, oh, btw, they have to be in one of these two political parties” Democracy.

I was inspired to write this when a friend of mine answered one of my comments to her post supporting Trump like this:

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I’m sorry, what? Why?

Voting for president is supposed to be a step taken towards progress. After four years of watching the country decline and begin to turn on itself, I was hoping that the new president would be someone who I could take seriously and who would take all the issues seriously. Instead, we have Mrs. Clinton who looks down on all others and looks out for numero uno, and Mr. Trump who might have good intentions, but his pride disable him from taking the right action. I mean, come on people! The WikiLeaks of Clinton’s emails should be enough to discourage anyone from voting for her. And Trump’s supporters’ Purge-like mindset sometimes worries me more than he does, never mind the fact that he can’t seem to remember the fact that all he says is recorded so people notice when he changes his stances around. The man has hidden intentions! Also, does no one else know that there is a petition to keep him out of the UN? I’d sign it in a heart-beat because I feel like he could start an unnecessary war with anyone by opening his big, tactless mouth.

Let’s not even get into the fact that Trump actually supported Clinton before all this: “Donald Trump jumped into the crowded and rowdy Republican presidential field on Tuesday, but the business magnate has astutely played both sides of the aisle for years, and has been especially cozy — financially and personally — with Hillary Clinton.

Clinton, the Democratic front-runner and former New York senator who had some say over policy that could have impacted Trump’s vast business dealings, received donations from both him and son Donald Trump Jr. on separate occasions in 2002, 2005, 2006 and 2007, according to state and federal disclosure records.” (Politico)

I know Hillary, and I think she’d make a great President.” – Donald Trump, 2008 (Huffington Post)”

Furthermore, neither seem to be too concerned about issues that need to be addressed now: the Keystone XL Pipeline for one. I’ve seen countless videos on Facebook about it over the weeks and my heart goes out to all the Native Americans fighting for what is rightfully theirs. The comments I found from the two candidates concerning this issue date back to 2012/2013 (Trump) and September of last year (Clinton). And according to Grist, Clinton has been avoiding the issue for years: “When asked about her views on Keystone at a New Hampshire event earlier this month, she said, “If it is undecided when I become president, I will answer your question.” So there.” However, she apparently took a stand a month after that (September 2015) saying she was against it. Trump was obviously for it, back in January 2012: “Trump called President Barack Obama‘s rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline “disgraceful.” Trump added, “Frankly, we don’t need Canada. We should just be able to drill our own oil. As long as it’s there we certainly should have approved it. It was jobs and cheaper oil.”” However, what does he think now?

Honestly, watching these two’s debates is like watching two spoiled four-year-olds go at it. Why have we put ourselves through over a year of this hubris-fueled malarkey?

The real question: why is everyone so adverse to voting third-party?!

In an attempt to answer my own question, I asked Google. While one source I found encouraged third-party voters to vote for Clinton (“I support third parties and have voted for a few. But this is not the election to cast a presidential vote that way… A swing of even 1-2 percent of third party voters to Trump or Clinton may decide the election.“Huffinton Post) another (Free Press) encouraged third-party voters to stand by their beliefs, saying that when you take the defensive vote and choose the lesser of two evils, you are making yourself a “political prostitute.”

The lesser of two evils is still evil. Furthermore, we don’t know which of these two is really less evil. I’m a Christian, so I’m usually automatically with anyone who is Pro-Life, given that their other principles are similar to mine. Usually that person is a Republican. But please don’t misunderstand. I don’t associate with any particular party. Each candidate associates with a party, but they are not that party. Exhibit A: Trump. The Republican politicians do not fully support him. They probably think he’s mad. They’re probably not wrong.

Unfortunately, I’m too young to cast a vote. Just as unfortunate, it’s the few hours of voting, so maybe this whole spiel is lost on all of you. But I think this is will help someone out there make an informed, independent decision.

Letting Go

Stab me again and again

But can’t let go

—Or won’t, whichever—

Heart still hanging on

Lips now turning blue

If I could only

Let go of the chains

And

Save me.

Too late now

Can’t breathe anymore

Can’t hold on no more

If I land on the floor

I’ll be all right.

If I’m too late,

Too stuck,

I’ll land on the rocks

And break again.

I’m not letting go

But it does seem that I’m slipping out.

No More Girls

Dress on
Hair down
Good girl off.
Ready to shrug off hearts
Hand them to you by a string.
I’m finally growing
A young cub
Now a budding lioness
Ready to hunt.
No love-lorn looks
No more pining
Pouting
Waiting.
I don’t need your fake love,
Your fleeting affections,
Your pitying gazes.
I’ll go it alone
Proud,
Strong,
Confident.
I don’t need a man
To make me be a woman.

“Death Signed” Brief Explanation

So, yeah…

Death Signed” is about something I’m working through right now. I don’t want to tell any of my friends about it until it’s resolved, but it’s hard to keep this much upset inside.

Make sure to tell your friends/kids: find a person who thinks like you. Find a person who would never threaten you. Find a person who would never threaten with or joke about death. Suicide is serious. Death is serious. If the person you call a friend can’t respect what you call serious, get out and get away. They’re not a true friend and it’s not worth it to struggle, cry, lie, and cover up to please them. Being alone is never bad. It won’t last long. Trust me. But it’s better to be you and alone than to fake yourself and be surrounded by people. Always.

Death Signed

At first it was great
Someone to talk to
Someone who listened
To listen to.
But that was at first.
When we weren’t together so much
Around as much
Friends as much.
Somewhere along the way,
Somehow one day,
You wanted more.
You wanted me as a friend
Best friend
Sister.
It was too much.
Being with you became too much.
No longer was it the slow approach
Of two different animals
Contemplating friendship.
It was a struggle each day
To smile genuinely.
I indulged you.
Like one would a child
Who holds a gun,
Trigger finger ready
Ready to shoot anyone
Everyone.
Now when I say it’s over
You turn the trigger
On yourself.
A warning to me.
To say that you own me?
Now I realize
You never knew me.
Because if you did,
You’d never
Threaten
Me
With
Death.

Soldier

Stoic
Tears running down my face
As I march past.
Forcing away emotions.
Alive,
Never living.
Ready to take the bullet
So that someone else can smile.
Biting my tongue,
Biting the bullet,
Biting the dust.
Fighting for others,
Never going to war
To keep what I want.
Giving in
To the sound of the bomb
Soaring above me
To me
At me.
I’m not a very good soldier.

Mirror

Mirror mirror
In the sea
What happened
To make me lose me?

Mirror mirror
Before my eyes
Is losing myself
A real prize?

I try to please
Everyone else
Forgetting that I matter too.
I stay silent,
Nod and smile,
Use fake emotions
To hide the screams inside.
Some might think
My pain ain’t real,
But they’ve never had
The still bleeding scars
That I feel.

Mirror mirror
Dying quick
Where was help
When I needed it?

I’m Back

Wow.

I just realized that the last time I made a substantial post was last November and my last poem was July.

I have been busy.

Rest assured, though, I will be back this year. See, I’m graduating next  year and the stress is starting to get to me. So my options are either to write or to go into the woods to scream for ten minutes (though that would be suspicious, too).