Tears in Life

[Song: Chasing the Sun by The Wanted]

They guide my fears
They watch my tear streaks.
For all our problems,
They always want to blame me.
A scapegoat,
Can’t escape the responsibility.
They never care
As long as they’re not scared, but me.

He doesn’t see others,
He only sees me.
He says that I’m the problem
But never that he hates me.
He claims love,
Yet always discriminates.
The youngest get his love,
The older are too late.

I never wished for much,
But can’t you see me?
Love has always meant so much
To me.
I’ll always love you,
As you can see.
But I don’t think you’re good for me.

I love you, Daddy, but I can’t be near you anymore.

I love you family, but I see that I’ll never truly have your support.

I’ll drift along alone, looking for that special one.

And maybe then I will see the real sun.

Ave Atque Vale.


Shadowhunter’s Rhyme: Color Scheme

Black for hunting through the night

For death and mourning the color’s white

Gold for a bride in her wedding gown

And red to call enchantment down.

White silk when our bodies burn,

Blue banners when the lost return.

Flame for the birth of a Nephilim,

And to wash away our sins.

Gray for knowledge best untold,

Bone for those who don’t grow old.

Saffron lights the victory march,

Green will mend our broken hearts.

Silver for the demon towers,

And bronze to summon wicked powers.

— Shadowhunter children’s rhyme

87   88

Password to Song Post

So I wrote a song called Beautiful Grace. I put a password on ot to avoid plagirism. Only those who’ve read my recent poems could guess the answer to my question that is the password:
What did I say that I hide my pain and fear in? (plural; two words; no spacing)


Alone in a Crowd

Scanning the crowd
No familiar faces.
A world of color shifts to greys.
The lights flicker
Even as they shine brightly.
Even with so many,
The room feels empty.
The loneliness is stifling.
So I drift off
Into my mind
Into the fantasies.
No one watches me
So no one knows.
Knows how brilliant I was
How brilliant I am
How brilliant I could be.
If only they noticed me.


102 Books to Read: My Recommendations [Part I]

[Song: Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson]

WARNING: These books are not listed in a specific order, are based wholely and solely on my opinion of good books, and have been proven to cause extreme fangirl reactions (i.e. tears, screaming, obssessing over characters, staying awake late at night, talking to oneself, etc.)

1] Dare You To by Katie McGarry

2] Fifth Grave Past the Light by Darynda Jones

3] On Dublin Street by Samantha Young

4] Resisting Her by Kendall Ryan

5] All the Right Reasons by Sandy James

6] City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare

Fears of a Lonely Child.

Clawing at my throat
Dangling by the chains that I swallowed to hide.
The fear.
Fear that everything bad thing I imagined will be true.
Fear that every amazing outcome is possible.
Fear of my dreams-my thoughts-my hopes.
So I take that fear
I hide it in a cupboard.
The cupboard is every fake laugh
Every fake smile
Every groan during the during the day
And every illusion during my insomnia nights.
My fears control me.
And that is the only thing that I’ll ever hate.

Good Future/Beautiful

My Recent Dreams

[Why do I always end up on this topic?!]

I am freaking out.
I revently had a dream about the person I like. The week before and a while back I’d also dreamed about him, although I can’t remember those dreams now. And last semester I had a really vivid dream where he saved me from falling from one of those climbing ropes (weird, right? I was exercising!). I called him a cutie in the dream which is what my brain and heart practically scream at me whenever I see him even though a better description would be charming or hot. Anyways, I was just freaked out because I’ve never dreamed about one person more than three times before. Except my family, but that explains itself.

Hot Guys

Top 5 Hot Guys List (My POV):

1) Jaime Campbell Bower [especially as Jace in The Mortal Instruments]

2) Zac Efron

3) Tom Hiddleston [especially as Loki in The Avengers]

4) Johnny Depp[he’s just plain good-looking]

5) My crush [of course he made this list!]

Reading Blood of Olympus

At the same moment in time, all across the country, maybe even across the world, kids everywhere all said the same word. This word, this name, was said so clearly and vehemently that it caused worry amongst the parents. And they all said…….


And then silence, as they continued to read.

On another note: Rick Riordan’ s new series’ first book, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, is coming out October 6th THIS YEAR. This is on my MUST READ list.

Mortal Instruments TV Series

I have good, yet bad, news. It has been confirmed that the Mortal Instruments TV series is starting fron the very beginning. However, this could mean a complete change in cast from the original movie. For all of you who disliked the original cast: this is not the blog for you, so please leave now. For all of you, like myself, who want a supremely vast majority if the current cast to stay: welcome aboard and enjoy the trip.

It was a nice twist that a lot of the actors had accents. I thoroughly enjoyed Jaime Campbell Bower and Kevin Zeger’s roles in the movie as Jace Wayland and Alec Lightwood. Just as well, I enjoyed Robert Sheehan as Simon, Lilly Collins as Clary Fray, and Jemima West as Isabelle Lightwood. Honestly, I enjoyed how all of the lead roles were portrayed, especially Godfrey Gao as Magnus, even though I think that Clary’s naivette was overexagerated.

However the role of the Downworlders was not very well portrayed. For example, none of the vampire Downworlders were given names or significant positions ,there was no reference to the Fae, and the Shadowhunter guarding Luke acted in such a vulgar manner that I was frankly appalled. In the book, I am sure that we would have been able to better identify the “leader” of the vampire Downworlders and surely the Shadowhunter sent to apprehend Luke had more dignity and self-respect than to do what he did in the movie. I do not fully recall the first book, but hope to rectify that situation soon.

Please stay tuned for an update in the series situation.