Left Eye was my musical inspiration. I didn’t try to copy her style, but her tough as nails, “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” style made me rethink my inspirations for my music, writing, and poetry.
Friendship means no less
Over there, than on these shores
Where we fight a battle for brothers’ lives,
Sisters and wives.
Because as he opens his eyes wide,
Not from the depression he didn’t know he was harboring
But from the disease eating at his mind
The one he put there,
The one she was fed
The one that told them they couldn’t
When it was really that they shouldn’t.
So he takes the white cloud,
Puts a smokescreen in the air
To cover the fact that when they said he couldn’t
He just decided that he wouldn’t
Try to be there for his daughter’s first birthday
Try to get his degree
Try to put himself on a pedestal so high
Where one could bring him down.
But he settled for less
Now he’s begging for more
As she takes shot after shot
Raising her glass,
As they take shot after shot
Hearing the glass crash.
But every time he goes down
Every time failure is aimed his way
“Hands up, don’t shoot”
There’s always someone there
To lend a hand
To bite the bullet
Bring him back from the edge
To get him through it.
Those denizens of his life
The ones he thought were just passin’ through.
From ashes and dust
They built him up
Made him strong enough to stand
Look his fears in the eyes
That when they decided he couldn’t
He decided he wouldn’t.
He wouldn’t sit by and take the abuse
Conveniently forget and make an excuse.
He’d be his own man
Not what society built him to be
Because society made him of glass.
But friendship turned him to bricks of gold.
To the soldiers across the sea
Seeing friends die
So we know how to be free
I salute you.
I thank you
For giving me the chance
To know how to be free
But to our brothers on this shore
Seeing friends die
Taking bullets and punches
So they can be free
I salute you, too.
I thank you
Because another one just got free.
squeak to squawk to squeal,
it rends its bloody talons
down the chalkboard
then turns to me,
looming, eyes glittering yellow.
this static monster
made up of blacks and whites and greys,
claws raking down my skin
seeping into my ears, head, mind,
bleeding me blue.
my mind is splitting
lodging in my throat,
the edges of my eyes.
then it stops.
they put the styrofoam away
and the beast is sealed away in its cave again.
My brother tells me
“Don’t think about it too much.”
Yet I can only
Think about it again
Think about how the words won’t flow,
Spill over the glass of my mouth
Onto the page,
Soaking in my heart along the way.
When I can feel my thoughts as my words,
As they flow down my agate skin onto my pen,
Some go unnoticed
In the desolate maelstrom of my mind,
Forgotten and lost to the empty void.
Yet it is this same void that inspires me,
Regurgitating the words I used to say aloud,
The words that slid down my glass neck,
Bitter as those that spoke them.
You stand proud with
Your unbreakable barrier,
Not sealed but
And me, a
Bottled up brown neck
So full yet I can only barely
Stretch open my throat to give you these words.
That you don’t understand me.
Don’t understand the pain I’m in,
The pressure that builds up from never speaking;
But never breaking
Because I won’t let it.
Won’t let out the torrent of words
Letting out a drop will open the rest
And I don’t know
If I’m strong enough to pull it back in.
So I’ll sit,
A bottled up brown neck
Sealed tight at the lips
Tapping on the lid
To keep out the bubbles
That threaten to break me.
I could hear your heart,
Racing alongside mine
But racing toward another.
All I wanted
Was to see your eyes light up on mine
To see you remember that time as a I did.
But I’m rhyming now
And that won’t do
No more swaying
No more chill
I’ll beat the drums with my feet
Let the guitar play in my blood
Rend the silence
With the crescendo of my voice
Letting you go
No easy love,
No taking it slow
I’ll burn the records
Drown the CDs
Dance all night
Cookies & Cream Brownie Cheesecake Bars
Because the holidays are coming and we all like food: https://www.buzzfeed.com/nataliebrown/these-are-the-most-popular-cheesecake-recipes-acco?utm_term=.hbKREV3oPB#.hbKREV3oPB
I think it’s happening.